In October 2001, I had surgery to remove precancerous growths from my colon. I had this exact surgery once prior, and it was ineffective for some reason. Begrudgingly, I agreed to go through the procedure again with a new doctor. At this time in my life I had been through a series of recent events that had left me numb emotionally. I might want to preface my story with the facts that I am a gay man, who was raised in a very strict "Born-Again Christian" home. When I was a kid, I held those beliefs close to my own detriment. I have never for a moment believed there was anything wrong with me, and I always knew I was made by God in his image. I just had held faith that God knew more than I, and therefore my life was different than what others had thought it should be. The fact I was gay had always been a point of contention with family, up to that point anyway. My husband of 10 years had died at age 39 in June 2000 after a two-year battle with testicular cancer. To say I was devastated by this loss after having fought beside him, and when necessary for him, is an understatement. At the time, I was "coasting" I suppose through life, wondering what it all meant. This was also just a few weeks after September 11th. I was wondering if the world was feeling the same as I was, considering the insanity we all had witnessed and been shaken by so deeply. During what should have been a quick and simple procedure that began about 10 a.m., I found out later that the anesthetist had felt I was coming around at one point during surgery, and chose to administer another full dose. Being seriously allergic to all forms of Opiates limits greatly what can be used. On that day it was a combination of IV Valium and Demerol, I think. After I was given another full dose I was told later my heart stopped during surgery, and it took a full 80 seconds to get it to start again.

I grew up in a small town, population approximately 3,000. I knew almost nothing of other religions/philosophies outside of Christianity. In 1976 I had major surgery to remove an acoustic neuroma. Two neuro-surgeons alternated performing the surgery that lasted 12 hours. I spent six hours in recovery and a day in ICU. Prior to surgery at about 5 a.m., I was given medication in my room to begin the anesthesia. As I faded away and couldn't keep my eyes open, my mother and brother prayed over me. My brother put his hands on top of my head during the praying, and I had intense flashes of white light inside or over my head. I "knew" I would be all right. I cried while being wheeled out of my room, and remember saying to the nurse I didn't know why I was crying because either way I was going to be all right. I don't remember anything more after that. Next I realized I had floated to the ceiling, but I had no form or body.

At 18 years old I had an experience that I will never forget. Call it a NDE or whatever you want, but it was fantastic. At the time, I was in a very destructive phase in my life, living in youth homes and having an uncertain future. I had mostly dark and hostile thoughts. One day a female staff member and I had been shopping and enroute to the car to go home. We were crossing a transitional place. It was a two-lane road refuge to another. We crossed the first road and then stopped for a red light together with a lot of other people in the refuge. Standing far ahead, a large van stopped in front of the transition and waved us forward. I looked toward the red light and got the perception that it was green for us. I went in front of the van, yet in the corner of my eye I saw a red car coming straight toward me and thought "Now I die!" But, I still had time to think that I had to go up against the cap in order to have the best chance. It felt like I hit the hood and windshield. Then something very strange happened. Suddenly I was in the middle of another dimension.

I was alone in my university bedroom. It was the end of my first term. I had starved myself. Like all anorexics, I had no idea that I was ill, and had run around for weeks fueled by nervous energy rather than physical energy. That evening I suddenly felt the energy leave me and I crawled toward the bed to lie down. I was terrified of sleep because I heard myself thinking the words from Shakespeare's Richard II, "methinks that if I sleep I never wake again." I knew I was going to die. Shortly after I found myself exiting my body by floating through the top of my head. It was like being born, but entering another world through the head.