I was born October 29, 1960 as one of twin girls. One sunny day, my brother was tossing a large football-sized rock with a friend of his for fun. I was told to remain on the porch as they played but saw my dolly under a mimosa tree on a white iron chair that wrapped around the entire tree. I ignored the warning and went to grab it. As soon as I reached the tree the large rock hit my head and cracked my skull. I believe I felt warmth flush down my entire body. I heard a loud bell sound and my body dropped like a carelessly thrown garment as I went upward into the arms of a beautifully light-filled being, an angel.

I immediately trusted and loved this angel. I never wanted the angel to leave. I knew what was being told to me by this lovely joyful love-filled being was one hundred percent truth.  I was draped in the arms of this light-filled long-haired being and want to say red-haired being too. The light moved within the body as well as flowed as part of the clothing or gown she was wearing, but the light always kept me from seeing the face entirely. The light changed and danced throughout the being, blinding me from seeing this loving angel being’s face totally.

She was carrying me up a huge beautiful white spiral staircase, and brilliant lights were shining and sparkling all around us. I felt so safe. At that age (I was in elementary school, never was away from home) and in this being’s arms, I had not a single care in the world. I don’t think I gave a second thought to anything down here at that moment. I was in pure bliss. The being’s voice had a true joyful loving sound to it as well. Its honesty and love and joyousness, I could not only hear but felt inside my spirit.

I was looking around at the lights. When I mentioned how pretty they were to this angel being, this angel being agreed and said, “Yes.” As I heard the angel answering briefly to another presence, I was swallowed up into a lovely warm pink existence where there was what I would explain as a healing loving softness. That’s the best I can explain for now.

What my family was witnessing was totally different, even terrifying. My mother recalls driving out of town with seven of my other siblings when the awful knowing that something has happened to her daughter washed over her. She said it was a knowing. She drove to a phone and called home and turned back home after hearing the news.  From what I’ve pieced together, she saw me with my eyes rolled back, revealing the root, and I was bleeding a pool of blood from my head as well as covered in blood I had vomited.       

Back in my experience, I am laid down in what I believe to be mid-air. In space this angel chats with me, assuring me everything is just as it should be. This being directs my attention to my left and I see afar off a golden bright entrance. The being tells me heaven and Jesus are there and there’s a place for me. Now I know there was much more great discussion between us, but my memory was wiped possibly (haha). Really though, this being knew me entirely.

The angel being says, “Would you like to go to heaven or stay with your mommy and daddy?” As soon as she said mommy and daddy, I see a photo picture fly right up to my face in the middle of outer space where I’m laying comfortably with all the stars. The image that flies up was of my mommy and daddy fighting and I am immediately drawn to my mother’s image and a deep need to help her somehow. I had no care for my father at that moment, only the deep need to help my mother. When I saw my mother’s image, I chose to come back for her. The angel being told me to lie very still after assuring me everything was just fine. Well, everything goes black, but then something blacker than that black walks up and down along side of me a few times and leaves.

I wake up in the hospital, being told later I was in a coma for three days. I tell my mom some of what I had been through and she said not to repeat it. It’s funny I couldn’t tell her about the picture of her and dad that made me return. She told me not to talk of it. And I immediately knew she was thinking I had a missing screw bolt and rusty spring from my brain (lol). I was told the doctors were to do a surgery, but my skull had miraculously fallen back into place.

I’ve asked others in my family later in life, but apparently none of my other sisters and brothers were told of even where I was. Later I found out a lie had been told about who had thrown the rock. My brother did, not his friend who was blamed. They thought I wasn’t going to pull through. But even now I’ve never heard the entirety of the experience from their viewpoint because it was so very hushed.

I returned to school, but shortly after took aptitude tests, and I was passed from 6th to 8^th grade for achieving a high score. I feel the NDE experience helped me answer the test questions, possibly giving me a higher IQ. I’m not saying I’m smart, but that something helped me answer...sounds insane lol. But I know I was helped somehow by the NDE. That’s the best I can explain.

Now, later in growing up, I was given the knowledge I would have a retarded child and that I was going to because I wouldn’t hurt a disabled child. I say retarded because that is the term I understood in that day. I recall actually standing at the end of our sidewalk wondering why I would have a retarded child, but knew I had to remember it.

Later in life I had my beautiful Down Syndrome daughter. I knew about this instantly. Before the doctors could say that she had Down Syndrome, I was telling them she has Down Syndrome. I had learned the term by a sister-in-law whose child was born with this extra chromosome (trisomy 21). Before they could tell me, I knew because I flashed back to the day I stood saying to myself, “You have to remember this day,” when I received the information I was to have a retarded child. So, yes, I remembered.

Other things occurred throughout my life that always reminded me this world is not all there is. When I was growing up in a very abusive home with an alcoholic father, I would pray for Holy Spirit to fill me from the bottoms of my toes to the top of my head. In one experience after prayer, Holy Spirit leapt into my body and immediately leapt out again, rushing through my head. But as if that wasn’t odd enough, when it jumped out of my head, my entire being was with that spirit, like being pulled with it together in unison. My body (my tent) was somehow being pulled upward as well, but it somehow shut me off from jumping out with the Holy Spirit. The force of spirit jumping out actually caused me to tilt my head back and raise my eyes involuntarily from the force.

Then I clearly heard my name being said by spirit. The voice, though male, had the same loving, joyous-full, all-knowing tone the angel being had during my rock injury NDE, although at that time I thought the rock injury angel was female. But I’m not sure why. Possibly the beauty of it, but I can’t be sure.

Now I want to tell of another near-death experience in my early teens. I would sometimes experiment by taking my father’s pills, usually a Librium, which they gave to alcoholics then. On this occasion I saw a small glass vial that said, “Place under tongue...” and some other words I didn’t read. So, I picked up the tiny pill and put it above my bed.

One afternoon I thought it must be like the melatonin or poison ivy pill so I popped it in my mouth and the next thing I know, my heart is pounding so very hard very fast. I’m trying to will my heart to stop this. While feeling the massive pressure and pounding it’s going through, I’m asking for forgiveness with my every fiber of my being. I’m thinking, “I’m alone and I’m gonna die.” But, I see my father at my doorway and, unable to talk, I reach out my hand. He approaches close enough, and I pull his hand to my heart, knowing it will reveal the issue.

At that moment I evaporate into the ground through my bed and the floor of the house into a very dark tunnel where I am speeding downward into darkness. I am on a black clear object, as contradictory as this seems, and I scramble to get off it as it rushes downward with me on it. As I scramble to get off, I am aware of other presences around the surface I’m on. The other beings scared me, and there was no fighting what was happening, so I go back to laying in the middle of the object.

At that point I’m dead and I know it, and soon it slows like an elevator slowly stops and arrives at the edge of a black deep cavern. I see way across to a golden throne with a red robe or cloth throw draped across the left arm. To the right of that, several feet away, there is a golden-looking box with a couple of gears you might see in a wind-up jewelry box. This image is lit in an area way off, surrounded in darkness.

I’m in a sitting up position and somehow know to turn awkwardly to my right and there I see massive, intricate metal doors. By massive I mean incredibly massive. I was shocked and amazed and wondering who could have built such massive doors that worlds could fit in.

I studied them and as I studied, I was aware of something coming for me but I knew that I had time, so I continued really studying the doors. If you’ve ever seen a metal tack for furniture that has the tortoiseshell appearance, these massive doors had hammered metal and if you can imagine, even a hammer mark on this door was the size worlds could fit inside. So, I was in total awe of who was capable of creating this. Was it God? I didn’t think it looked like heaven’s doors, but thought I was looking at the most massive furnace doors.

Now as I sit, I feel parts of my life drip from my spirit body like water. It was like the stories of my life fall away through the surface I’m sitting on until the last drip. I knew I was going to hell and knew I deserved to go, but as the last portion fell away, there was what I like to call a small “belief-in-God stone.” I’m saying stone for lack of wording but there was a belief in God that did not fall through the surface, and as I was revealed that, a group of beings similar to the grey alien came up out of the black cavern. And I thoroughly knew I deserved hell and even said so, saying, “Come, Lord Jesus.”

Something in me said, “Pray.” The aliens had large, empty black eyes. I saw beyond their eyes into emptiness that went on forever, like if it were possible to step in to that eye, it would be a dark very vast empty place, void of anything. The largest being of the group of four or five threw his hand into my soul and was trying to capture or scare or hurt me. I felt electrical charge run through my soul’s lower right side. The being’s hands were emitting some sort of rough electrical shocking charge, but as fast as this is shocking me, I begin the Lord’s Prayer. When I was provoked to pray the Lord’s Prayer, I knew I had to do it NOW because there is an alien demon’s hand in my side.

A dim light appears either from me or behind me, and as that light appears, these creatures turn and flee, and I mean flee fast. My praying the Lord’s Prayer and light appearing and their running all happened within seconds. I prayed bolder and louder. As I saw them flee, I knew it made them flee from me somehow.  As I saw them flee, at that same time, I was pulled back up into my bed where I opened my eyes to my father praying, saying he was too terrified to move me to even get help.

Man, oh man, I was so exhausted when I opened my eyes and saw my father, like zero strength left in me. I was always strong as a horse back then but at that moment I was in shock from the experience. I was grateful and eager to hide my face and cry over what I had been through and drift into true sleep because of the weakness of my body when I returned. I needed rest.

The prayer and the light were somehow a substance they found deadly or possibly worse than death, if there is such a thing. I can’t say enough how fast they turned and fled. A few days after the experience, I looked at the bottle and it was a nitroglycerin pill for a 300 lb. man with an instruction to place under the tongue.

The reason I even tell about any of my past is on the off chance it may help someone. There is a God that loves us and a World awaits us!!!!!!!!!! 

I would like tell of my husband’s NDE as well. Bob was born July 29, 1926 and I was born October 29, 1960. When he was a day away from passing, he told me he saw something golden on his bedside table that reached way up and that I couldn’t see it but it was there. I easily said, “I believe you.” Bob also mentioned a puppy in his room running in and out and a presence in the bathroom. I assured him I believed him. He told me he had the “big talk” with God, and when I looked in his eyes, they sparkled like a happy little boy playing. He appeared innocent (lol if you knew Bob) but I somehow knew he was an innocent man just by looking in his eyes at that moment.

The night before or possibly a day or so before my husband passed, he had me alone and said, “Janet, I fell out of my body last night and couldn’t get back in my room.” He said he was able to crawl around on the door (he said after he was going around the knob, he realized this wouldn’t get him in his room) and walk in the hall and was very confused for a while. To get back into the shell of his body, he made diving and swim motions with his arms. As he spoke of this, I was immediately assuring him that it was a true experience and went about giving Bob his puzzle book and office work he wanted to work on.

I was going on my birthday to shave him and thought I’d call him first. He answered shakenly. I said, “I love you, Bob.” He said, “I luv yuoooo,” and a nurse came on and asked, “Does he normally have a hand issue? I’ll call you right back.” She called me right back saying he passed after his “I love yuoooo” comment. He died on my birthday, so October 29, 2016 somehow became a stamp inside my being of the love he had at the end for God, family, life, me and this confusing world we live in.

I mention his experience because it was my experience as well, and it left me with a knowing that his and my meeting was a meant-to-be kind of thing. The first day I saw Bob, a knowledge was given to me that I would marry him. I had just left a horrible marriage and he was much older, and all I kept thinking while peeking at him, not letting him see me look at him was, “Why????????? Would I be marrying him????????” Well, we married and had the best twenty years of my life!!!!  So, I honestly am telling whoever this may reach with a very assured feeling that his and my life were pre-ordained somewhere beyond this world, but I get confused still of the why.

I only get tiny slices of a massive 3D pie, so from earth vantage we may be buried under many layers of what I would call blindness, until a brief moment of light and suddenly truth beams on us. Then we are able to understand we are right where we are supposed to be and everything is going as planned. An all-is-well kind of knowing brushes over my thoughts.

Both my experiences were good. I summarize my near-death experiences this way: you go to a place where you know who you are, then you come back to a place where nobody knows who you are, so it doesn’t work out. So, you’ve got to ride it out, baby!

The birth of my third child was by emergency c-section. The overtone during the birth/surgery was one of hushed, quiet voices. Very little shared or explained. A general feeling of unease throughout. 

Once the birth/surgery was over I was reunited with my little one in the Maternity Ward. I was in a lot of pain as was to be expected and had what I thought to be an unusual amount of discomfort. I had had two previous c-sections and I knew that this felt different. I was assured all was well and that the healing was on track. 

I was allowed to go home two days later. I thought that if I got home, I would begin to feel better again. But what followed was ten days of subdued, quiet awareness. Like I wasn't quite myself but could not pinpoint what was wrong. Two more visits to the Midwife proved everything to be 'fine'. Even though my baby was losing weight and I had no milk. But none of these rang alarm bells for me or the medical staff, and my assertations of general unease were put down to my recent surgery. It was noted, however, that I had an extreme amount of bruising around the incision. The midwife made my doctor aware of this and was told to keep an eye on it and if I was concerned, then I should book an appointment.

The ten days blurred by. I was aware that my baby was incredibly patient and quiet. Rarely cried and slept most of the time. It didn't occur to me that I had no milk until perhaps the seventh day. Uncharacteristically, he began to wail. And it all began to make sense. That night we gave him milk from the fridge as it was all we had and he was soothed.

I had begun to bleed by this stage. Bright red drops. Light at first, nothing too alarming. I thought it odd, but my thoughts were not clear. Over the next three days, the bleeding became heavier until on the tenth day I could not keep up with the pad change. I called the doctor, still unconcerned. I made my appointment and sat down to feed my baby.

Not long after I sat down, I felt an overwhelming sense of something. A fullness perhaps. An eruption just about to begin. At that exact moment, my husband walked in the door. Home early to grab a bite to eat. I gave him the baby with an urgency that overcame me. I just knew I needed to get up.

And then the flood began. The blood streamed down my legs, warm and heavy. The flow was torrential. At some point, my husband had put the baby down and was now holding me. I was leaning against him crying and crying out. “What is happening??” I simply did not understand what I was seeing and feeling. I squeezed my legs tight together in an effort to stop the flow. To no avail.

And then suddenly I understood the absurdity of trying to control this. I realised there was nothing I could do that could change this and I had to simply go with it. I had the intense sensation that my whole life was bleeding away, and I was overcome with a sense of peace. Time and space slowed right down. I could see decisions and the choices being made. I took a long deep breath and saw the Universe shifting and expanding.

I knew then that I could make a choice to be terrified and panic. Or I could make a choice to surrender. Let go. Let go of my life. And I saw that there was, in fact, no choice. There was only one. Let go. And it felt like a complete letting go of my life.

My husband put me in the shower while he raced around getting things organised. In his panic, he forgot to turn on the hot water. I had a ridiculous thought that I was going to bleed to death in a freezing shower and I began to laugh! But then as I saw the blood in its constant stream, I slowly cried. Big heavy tears. Watching my life slip away has a very calming and grounding effect on me. And by this stage, nothing was stopping the blood. I shoved a towel between my legs to catch the flow. I noticed that there was blood all over the floor. Everywhere. And I felt that panic again. And then I breathed. That slowness. That higher part of myself stepped in. She knew exactly what to do and slowed everything down.

And everything stayed incredibly slow. My husband was talking too fast. Moving too fast. Driving too fast. More than once I asked him to slow down in a very calmed, measured voice. He looked at me like I was crazy. Arriving at the hospital was intense. Everyone around me was in emergency mode. I couldn't reconcile it with how I was feeling. Calm. Still. Quiet. I wanted to sleep.

I was later transferred to a larger hospital and thought it a bit of an overreaction with the lights, sirens and speed of the ambulance. The nurse and medic beside me continued to move with speed. 

Once at the hospital, I was prepped for surgery with cannula after cannula going into my arms and hands. Each new doctor asked what, when, how. And I think I explained it to them but I have little memory of this time. I felt I was talking too slowly and quietly for them to understand. I had several hours where I lost consciousness here. When I awoke it was to find they were flying me to a city hospital. I think this is the first time reality stepped in. I suddenly understood where I was and what was happening and I began to cry again.

The plane waited several more hours as I needed to be stable enough to make the flight. Eventually, late at night, I was wrapped in blankets waiting on the gurney in an open hanger to board the Flying Doctors plane. I was conscious again and I could see the stars all around me. And suddenly the distance between those stars and me was reduced to nothing. I was aware that I was the stars, the universe and consciousness. I found my Presence here. Under these stars. I saw everything as a whole and connected. And it was overwhelming and normal all at once. I felt such immense joy! I was part of this!

On the journey to the city, I felt completely supported and surrounded by what one could only call angelic beings. So were so close I felt I could touch them. I really wanted to be with them but the doctor kept gently shaking me awake. I smiled up at him each time. It was so peaceful in that semi-conscious state. Everything had a beautiful golden glow.

Just before surgery, I was waiting in a small room beside the operating theatre. The anesthetist was beside me. She said she would check if they were ready for me and left me alone. In those moments I started to cry again. Big, slow tears rolling down my face as I lay there. I was just so tired. So incredibly tired. Soul weary. I realised I didn't want to be kept awake anymore. I just wanted to sleep. And in sleeping, I knew I would be giving up my life. And I decided that it was the easiest decision I had ever made. I felt my body and mind begin to let go.

Then I saw a hand beside me. And a firm and cheery voice said to me, “Are you coming with us then? Or staying here?” And I knew what this meant. I knew I was leaving my body. I was shown briefly an apocalyptic scene and was given the understanding that this had been my life. A life lived in fear. Then I reached out for that hand and had a split-second of thinking about my family. I knew immediately that they would be ok. They had their own life. 

And then freedom. Immense and full. Understanding and knowing. I was pulled out of my body very fast. And then the music began. And fireworks. A celebration on every level. Choirs of angels and jubilation! I felt free. I was weightless. A beam of light. Flying, soaring through the bright sky. The light was immense and went in every direction. Blue, bright sky everywhere. I had those first few moments of reveling in that glory of freedom. And then I knew exactly where I needed to be.

I moved off in a specific direction. Soaring extremely fast through that space, the enormity and interconnectedness of everything was an all-consuming feeling. I was one with God Consciousness. I was still aware of myself as me, but the super-expanded version. The version that knew all and saw all.

I saw a structure hanging in the sky in the distance. This was where I was headed. It was circular in shape. I saw three over light beams also heading that way. I felt utter elation. I knew who they were and I was excited to meet them again.

I arrived at what was a vast Library. Greeting the others was like greeting friends and family, although none were from my previous life. These were more ancient than that. Cycling throughout time together. Some had not been incarnate for thousands of years. I was home with them. And we were so happy to see one another.

We talked and reminisced. We shared stories of my life. We discussed contracts and purpose. How did I feel about my life? And then I was handed a book. I flicked through and it looked empty. Every page was blank. And then I opened to a page with words. And when I saw those two words, I knew I was coming back to my life. I was going back. I was supported in this decision, asked again and again if that was what I wanted. I just knew if I didn't, I would be coming back again to do this. This life thing. Another birth. Another life. Another journey. And I knew that I may not get it again. “Self Worth” had been my nemesis many whole lifetimes. Thousands of them. A vast stream flashing by me. And I knew it. This was the one thing left to master.

Once I had made the decision, I moved out of the library space. I spent a moment with my 'family.' Knowing that I would see them again, I made my way out to the vastness. And I began to feel myself moving down 'levels.' The light was gradually less bright and I started to take on my physical form once again. My physical form began to manifest out of the atoms all around me. Vast groups of them joining together and layering over my body. I could feel them take their place all around my energetic body. They covered me and energised me. It was like putting on a beautiful cloak. And having it settle a warmth all over me. It was an incredible feeling that I can still feel today.

I touched down onto a road. It was wide and long. Long grass and flowers waving gently in the breeze on either side. I started to walk and as I walked, a house started to come into view. As I got closer, I could hear voices. Laughter, talking. Then I could see groups of people in a cottage garden. I walked in through the front gate and headed for the front door. I didn't feel like I knew any of these faces.

I stepped inside the house to subdued light. Like a soft orange and golden glow. I noticed that the room was full of small children, toddlers and infants. Outside it was all adults. These children were holding one another; there was support from elderly helpers, like grandparents. Some children were walking or being carried up some stairs over to one side. I joined them on the stairs and found I had my hands being held by some small children.

I could see at the top of the stairs an old couple hugging and whispering to the children and babies. When I got to the top, they hugged me and whispered words of love into my ears. The children were then taken to various doors to go through. I stood watching for a while. Uncertain that I wanted to be here. 

The Grandmother motioned to me. “Are you ready?” She asked. I shook my head. She asked me two more times before she said, “Come and help us.” So I took my place at the top of the stairs and whispered words of love into each child's ear...

After a while, she looked at me. A questioning look. I nodded and got up. I walked through a door. And inside was a mirror on the wall. The room was soft and glowing and dim. I walked up to the mirror and looked into my eyes. “Are you ready?” I asked. I wasn't sure I was, but I did it anyway.

Vroom. Sucked back into my body again. Waking up after surgery. My very first statement was, “I am here.” I had been intubated so my croaky voice did not carry very far. The midwife in my room said, “Oh you're awake!” and gave me some ice to suck.

I was back. In my body. In my life. Ready with my purpose.

I lost 4 litres of blood. I was transfused with 6 pints of blood and 15 pints of plasma. I had my uterine arteries cauterised and never was able to bring my milk supply back for my little one. I spent many weeks recovering in hospital and then had home care after. 

It has taken me six years and counting to rewrite my life. In many ways, I have been reborn. I lost many memories. Had a very dark night of the soul where I developed anxiety, depression and PTSD. Longed for that connection again and had many long nights contemplating how I could get back. After the initial euphoria, I lost all reality and ceased to function on a normal level.

But slowly, slowly, I began to access that peace and grace in waking life. I began to see the slowness and the vastness and the choice. I began to love myself. I was grounded, slow and thoughtful. My speech, my breath, the way I move, everything slowed down. Everything in my life changed.

Now I am helping others access that innate peace inside them. Through reality, acceptance, surrender and self-love. Connecting them to their past. Their lineage. And that knowing that we are not alone in this vastness. Always connected. Part of the whole. Part of the one consciousness. It all matters, yet nothing matters. 

I had a second OBE on my way home from the hospital. I lived 500 kms from the city hospital and my Mum offered to drive me and my baby home as I was not allowed to drive. We got about 60 kms from my hometown and I had an overwhelming urge to swap with my Mum and drive. She resisted this, but I insisted. Further up the road, a car pulled out in front of us. We were travelling at 110 kph when this happened. I had no time to brake, but only respond. In that split-second, I swerved around the car on the outside, onto the roadside. There just happened to be a small slipway there. I left my body and looked down at the car and my baby in the back. I saw his car seat swerve violently. I heard clearly, “Are you sure?” I have no doubt that my Mother could not have reacted quickly enough and had I not insisted I drive, it may have been a different outcome for us all. I am so incredibly grateful for my life. Although to this day my Mum can't speak about that drive.

When I was 36, having taken some new medication in addition to the anti-depressant medication I already took on a daily basis, I went to bed and went to sleep.

Whilst asleep, I understood that I existed as an entity, separate from my body and also separate from my surroundings, which were a kind of ‘nothingness.’ I felt that I was an entity made of energy, which I perceived as beams of light, and I had a profound sense of contentment.

I understood from someone else who was there, but like me existed without a physical body, that my role as a being of energy only (i.e., a role which I had when there) was to go to other planes of existence and help people cross (in 'spirit,' though that term wasn't used) to another plane. I felt that I would be helping them by doing this.

I was sent to another plane and passed through several different planes/realities to the person who I was to help. She was a Caucasian girl, likely of around high school age. I saw her from an angle above her, but not directly above her. She was sitting and talking to friends at a table. I was able to embrace her spirit and move it with me through the planes to the one I had been in previously. This appeared to take more effort than moving through the planes by myself had taken.

Throughout the entire experience, I continued to feel the sense of positivity/contentedness.

Upon my return to the initial plane, I was spoken to by someone else who was there. (I mentally termed them 'god' as that was the term I knew which was most closely related to what they were, but I was aware that they weren’t 'god' as defined by religion). I am not sure whether I heard them speak the words, but I understood from them that I could stay there and continue to experience what I had been experiencing (i.e., feeling the sense of contentedness and helping people pass between the planes) or I could return to my body. I understood that if I chose not to return, the part of me which existed on earth would die.

Upon considering the possible impact of my death I chose to return, due to the likely impact my death would have on my parents.

At that point I woke up, though I continued to feel the 'contented' feeling for some time, before making a conscious effort to awaken completely. I felt that I had been taking very shallow breaths and needed to breathe more deeply to wake up properly.

I felt like I had experienced an NDE and immediately started researching what had happened to me on the internet. I discovered that the new medication which I had been prescribed could react with the medication I was already on and could lower the heart rate. A medication interaction website indicated that taking the two medications together presented a risk of death and that it was inadvisable to take both medications at the same time. I did not do so going forward.

I also established that the anti-depression medication I had been on for some time can cause lucid dreams. I had experienced some vivid nightmares upon commencing use of the anti-depressant medication and this was a known side effect.

Although I hadn't previously experienced any vivid positive dreams, or any dreams which felt as though they were reality, I concluded that it was likely that I had experienced a kind of dream. At that point I was disappointed, as there was a clear explanation for my experience, and I considered it unlikely that any part of the experience was real. However, having mentioned my experience, in passing, to a doctor, the doctor suggested that the choice I was faced with, to die or wake up, may well have been genuine. (Accepting that other aspects of the NDA were likely a vivid dream, which I felt was likely to be as a consequence of the interactions of the medications I had taken.)

Although I feel that my experience in general was not ‘real’, i.e., I did not exist as a being of energy (which I have mentally termed a 'light being'), I think it likely that I was close to death that night and that if I had chosen that option, I would have died peacefully in my sleep that night as a consequence of the interaction of the medication I had taken.

I found that I was able to return to a feeling that was similar to, though not as strong as, the feeling of positivity I felt on that occasion, when I undertook some guided meditation.

It may not be of relevance, but I suffer from hypnagogia, so have some issues with sleep which could perhaps be connected to this incident.

I’ve had multiple NDEs in my life because of ongoing health issues. Many of my NDEs were narrated by an individual with a comforting voice. I seemed to know his voice, although I couldn't see him in the beginning. As time went on, I recognized him as my Father in Heaven.

I experienced my first NDE that occurred when my first son was born after I began to float off the surgical bed during an emergency c-section. My doctor later told me that I had gone into toxic shock from contracting the streptococcus B bacteria. My first NDE was rather quick and uneventful after I returned back into my body.

My second NDE was extremely life altering. I was in an airplane headed to San Antonio when an illness I had grew worse during the flight. I had a flu for 3-4 days leading up to the flight, was extremely dehydrated, hadn’t kept any water down for 24 hours and had just run between multiple terminals to make this flight. I felt a lot of pressure to make the flight despite being so ill because my abusive husband (that I was married to at the time) demanded that I meet up with him in San Antonio for a vacation he’d been planning on all year. He flew ahead of me with the kids so that I could finish visiting with family I hadn’t seen in a while, before I was to join him in TX. Shortly after I got onto the plane and sat in my chair, I knew I was in some kind of trouble. My body began to seize up and I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath. Then after the plane took off, I began to feel extremely intense pain shooting through my legs. It felt like hundreds of Charlie horses (insane cramps) were attacking my legs. I felt really dizzy and at one point I passed out.

But I soon realized that l left my body because I found myself looking down to see myself in the seat, while others around me thought I was just sleeping. But somehow I also began to see in many different directions all at once. I saw the aisles behind me and around the corner in the flight stewards’ prep area, all at the same time. I could see them making coffee, while I could simultaneously see the back of the airplane, while also being able to see many different angles of people on the plane, all in one glance.

Suddenly I was outside of the plane looking in, while also being able to see different angles from outside the plane all in one glance too. It was very still and silent outside. I couldn’t hear the jet engines. I felt no effects from the illness that just moments before paralyzed me with insane levels of pain. I matter of factly acknowledged that I was standing outside of the plane, without feeling any fear about the thought.

The next thing I knew I was back inside the plane, looking down on my body again. But then as quickly as I was there, I was back outside of the plane, although the atmosphere had changed. I found myself in the air, but this time I was standing over a large body of water. The water was a deeply blue, like a dark cobalt blue.

There was a wooden table in front of me with a book on it. I seemed to know what this book was; it was the Book of Life and I felt like my name was in it. Out of my peripheral vision I saw a white male figure off to the right of me standing on the other side of the table. Somehow I sensed that I should NOT look directly at him, because if I did I wouldn’t ever want to go back into my body. So I didn’t look directly at him. But I seemed to recognize him as the Savior of the World.

Off to the left of me I saw that there was a rocky desert island that bordered the water that I stood over. There was a man on the shore that was pacing back and forth, as if he was lost. I seemed to know him and felt like I had agreed to help him in this life somehow, although I was certain we hadn’t met…yet. I knew at that moment I needed to go back. I thought of my kids too and knew I needed to go back to be there for them.

But before it was all over, I was shown several symbols and objects. I didn’t know at the time what they all meant, but over the years I recognize them as ancient symbols of some kind, some of which have to do with music. Eventually I ended up back in my body again.

For weeks after this NDE, the veil was still very thin with me. I learned and saw things for the next two weeks that were amazing and beautiful. But then after two weeks the veil was closed back up again (after I prayed and asked God to take away all the things I was seeing). I told him that although it was all so very beautiful, I just didn’t feel that I was spiritually ready to see so much all at once. I felt that I was starting to lose touch with my reality. I know it may sound crazy, but I began to miss the normalcy I once had! I missed my normal mundane reality. I began to miss “not knowing things” before they happened. Knowing things ahead of time was absolutely thrilling for me in the beginning, but after 2 weeks of it (which felt more like 3 months), of knowing things before they would happen, having visions, dreams, intense premonitions and fast paced unexplainable experiences, I was starting to go crazy! I knew that I needed a rest from it all. It felt like my mind was starting to go into sensory overload! It was all so beautiful, but it was also too much for me to spiritually digest all at once.

During the 2 weeks where the veil was thin I was taught many things. I was given a basic history lesson about the true divinity and infinite worth of both God’s daughters and his sons. I was taught the personal responsibilities husbands and wives have to love and serve one another as true equals. I was shown the same responsibilities parents have to properly love, teach and nurture the children God entrusts them with, or they risk losing the ability to be parents in the next life. I believe God personalized all this for me because I was abused as a child by my step father, as well as by my first husband that I was married to at the time and I was deeply confused about the proper roles that men and women should have towards each other, as well as what Love truly looks and FEELS like.

Over the years, I rarely have shared the experiences I had with this particular NDE because my NDE is so different than everybody else’s I’ve ever read about. I never saw a glowing tunnel of light, never got the pleasure of running into my dead relatives (and oh how I would have loved to see my Grandma Helen again), and I never got the life review, although I did see my Savior once.

I experienced more NDEs over the years because of my constant health problems. During one NDE I was shown a vision of Delta Airlines flying in the air. At first it looked like an airplane, then it turned into a seagull and then it crashed (my husband worked at Delta Airlines at the time). I saw how the airline would go bankrupt. I was then shown that I would move back out West to the state of Utah (I lived in Georgia at the time and never planned on moving back out again). I also saw a tumble weed blow by, then I was shown an area around North Salt Lake and then another area around an exit off of I 80 in Tooele County, Utah. I also saw a baby girl. I was told that her name was Bell and was asked if I wanted her. I said that I did! I recorded all of these things on an online Yahoo group that I will go into more about a bit later.    

I found out my husband of 10 years had been cheating on me not too long after my NDE on the airplane. I ended up leaving him and I moved back out West with my 3 kids to be with my mother in Utah. Shortly after I arrived, I received a good-paying job offer to work in North Salt Lake. Shortly thereafter my now ex-husband told me he couldn’t pay child support because Delta Airlines furloughed him. The company was having financial problems…Delta never fully recovered after 911 and eventually had to file bankruptcy. A few years after moving to Utah, I met and married a man from Tooele County. Tooele is a desert community next to the Great Salt Lake, a lake that contains several desert outcropped islands and looks so much like the one in my NDE. We welcomed a baby girl into our new family less than a year later. My doctors had told me I would never be able to conceive again because the medical condition I had adversely affected my reproductive organs. But despite the odds, my last little caboose came into our family rather unexpectedly in miraculous ways.

After I moved back out West, I struggled with a debilitating blood disease that affected the iron in my bone marrow. I had serious side effects from the blood disease, one of which caused my heart to fail a few times. I also battled liver disease, which I believe was caused by all the toxic, heavy medications my doctors put me on over the years. I was in the hospital off and on over the years and I experienced several more NDEs during this time. Each time I had another NDE, the veil began to get thinner and thinner again. Somehow it wasn’t as overwhelming this time around, with respect to the veil getting thinner.

During these NDEs I was either brought to a remembrance of former things or taught about the pre-existence (pre-earth life) in explicit detail. I was taught who I was before I came to Earth, my role in the pre-existence; the specific events that led up to a great war that I was told took place in Heaven. Being a Christian, I recognized the story about the War in Heaven from the Bible. But the war I was shown in my NDEs was much different than the one I previously learned about.

I was also shown how the War in Heaven was infinitely linked to our temporal experiences here on Earth. I saw how the War in Heaven affected future events on Earth, since all things are linked in eternal ways. I saw how loving family units were the foundation of Heaven. I saw how our Heavenly Father and Mother perfectly exemplified loving foundations in the home by teaching their children how to be eternally good brothers/sisters, husbands/wives and fathers/mothers. I saw that just as our Heavenly Parents are Eternal, families are eternal as well. After my last NDE the veil became so thin that I now dream a lot of dreams that I believe are meant to further teach and guide me about the things God sees fit for me to keep learning.

Like I said, a lot of what I learned in my NDEs was centered around the War in Heaven. I learned how the War in Heaven is linked to what scientists on Earth call the Big Bang Theory. I learned that all of the world wars and major historical events on Earth are not due to happenstance (not by chance occurrence). These historical events are meant to reflect many of the same wars and events that shook the heavens before this world was organized and created for our earthly experiences. This is why we see in the Bible that what happened in ancient Babylon is prophesied to happen in modern day Babylon again, and what happened to the ancient Jews will eventually happen again to the modern Jews in Israel in the end times etc.

I was told that these historic events and wars occur as wave-like events, 3 great waves in total, with many smaller waves in between. The original catastrophic event (Big Bang) unleashed lasting ripple effects that can be managed over by the Gods, but not changed, in that they still must occur on some level. They must surely happen, just as a rock thrown into a lake will make ripples and those ripples will surely spread out and affect the shoreline at some point.

The Big Bang sent ripples across the vast expanse of space, upon the world of worlds (as I call it), upon many galaxies and star systems that our greatest telescopes have never seen. The laws of cause and effect have already set these events into an unchangeable set of motions. Although God could not change the original event that set all these things in motion, God could replicate/recreate and manage over the environment of the future battlefields that those same waves would later effect as the waves moved through the vast expanse of time and space.

I was told that God purposely altered space by folding parts of it into varying dimensions or by creating curves/wrinkles in some spots in order to control the waves more fully (especially with respect to how fast and where they move) in an effort to lessen the effects.

I was shown that it was Satan who caused the BIG Bang to occur. I saw how Satan was a highly progressed angel that God himself trusted and endowed with great powers at one time. I saw how Satan began to use God’s own powers against him in order to do secret works of darkness. God had many enemies, but his enemies could not match up or compete against God’s eternal power. This is precisely why Satan was the only entity who actually succeeded in attacking the Kingdom of God, because he used GOD’S own power (power that God gave to him) against GOD to hide his evil deeds. Satan even enlisted other entities from other worlds to help to do his secret works.

Satan did not rebel against God all of the sudden out of nowhere, like some believe. He did so a little at a time over a space of years. But Satan eventually began to thirst for more and more power along the broken way. Eventually some of his sins even led to unspeakable sexual sins against God’s children. He was able to hide his sins (while still residing in Heaven) by using some of the powers God had entrusted him with to hide his offenses. Before being discovered/his great fall, Satan was known as the Angel of Music, a highly progressed son of God who burnt holy incense and played fine instruments before all of Heaven. But his sins eventually became too great to fully hide.

When Satan’s sins were finally discovered, they were so egregious in the sight of God that God did what any loving Father would do in that horrific moment. He declared war on his fallen son after discovering the unspeakable sins that Satan committed against his other children. It was Satan, and those that he talked into following him, that fought back in that moment against God in the Great War that broke out in Heaven; a war that Michael and his Angles fought back against in our premortal history.      

I was shown that there were 3 great wars that took place in Heaven during 3 separate wave events, with smaller wars in between. On a few occasions these wars spilt over into our Earth realm, which can partly explain the increase in people witnessing mysterious explosions, strange lights, crafts or falling objects from the sky, objects that don’t appear to be commercial or military crafts in our skies.

In our Earth’s historic past, we experienced World War I and II, while World War III is thought to be soon upon us. Like I said, our Father created these historical events in order to recreate the original wave…to align the two waves together for reasons I don’t claim to fully understand, but have been told is necessary to lessen the final wave’s effects. God does this to not only lessen the effects of the next incoming wave as the two waves merge into one, but to also test mankind, as well as protect and preserve his eternal children.

But it is most importantly done to reconstruct the past, since Satan hid many of the events that led up to the Big Bang from Gods view. You see, by the time God discovered what Satan was doing, the Big Bang Event was already unleashed. So, by reconstructing the past, God can likewise reconstruct the hidden events that led up to the Big Bang…much in the same way a detective tries to recreate a crime scene in order to understand the full story. But God would not recreate such things in Heaven, lest the sacred nature of Heaven be forever altered. So, a terrestrial Earth-like environment was needed to not only test the souls of mankind, but one that could help us to precisely unravel our premortal past. This would allow God to restore all things anew to their former states of order and appropriate degrees of glory. This great restoration of all things is meant to heal/unite the children of God and provide for a new Heaven that is no longer corrupted by Satan’s reach. In this respect it became necessary for our Father to manage over the environments on both sides of the veil (on Heaven and Earth) as the last and most destructive wave was set to come on through…in our day and time.

The plan that God created for his children to come down to Earth to live mortal lives was not created casually. There was great care and planning that went into it all. The final plan was universally accepted by most of his children in the premortal counsels of Heaven, except for the spirits that rebelled and sympathized with Satan. Gods plan for our Salvation included coming to Earth, receiving a mortal body, being tested to see who we chose to follow as our father, God or Satan...as well as allowing all such events to coincide with the last incoming wave that was expected.

I know this may sound strange, but I’ve also come to look upon my Heavenly Father after all my NDE experiences as my actual Father, the way a person would look at their Earthly Father, because I was brought to a remembrance of him during my NDE’s. I literally have memories of my Heavenly Father and my Heavenly Mother raising me in Heaven. I have premortal childhood memories that the deepest parts of my soul remember experiencing, similar to the way I remember my Earthly childhood memories. I have memories of playing and splashing in a small stream next to a meadow with my siblings near my home, of my Heavenly Mother teaching me how to play music and learning a lot about science, music and math from both of my parents. I was told that I agreed to give up the higher knowledge my parents taught me in the pre-existence in order to come to earth to gain earthy, temporal experiences that would help me to spiritually progress and grow infinitely in eternal ways.

I've seen more things, but don't know how to explain all the things I have seen and so I won’t. I feel that I need to more fully understand some of these things myself before I attempt to share them. I do know this…that great changes are about to happen to our Earth, both good and bad. These are the things that God has been showing to me. The intensity of the signs we’ve seen in the heavens like blood moons and increased solar events are in part God making his presence known to the world, as he is getting closer to aligning his world/his time back up with ours.

Most religions call this the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. I too believe this as well. Because of the great unrest and wars that broke out in our premortal heaven, a Savior was needed to pay the price for these great sins, one who fully understands all the pain and injustice that has ever been felt or experienced by anyone. Our savior will come again to the Earth as one who fully understands the pains and the wounds of the world, having experienced those pains first-hand himself in the Garden of Gethsemane. 

I’m not really sure why I’m sharing all this now. I’ve shared my story before many years ago, but left many things out the first time around. I shared many of my NDE experiences on a yahoo dream group forum many years ago. At the time I felt that many of my NDE’s, visions and dreams would never be believed, so I disguised them all as dreams and shared them on that dream forum group. It felt safer to share these personal things in a setting where nobody knew me. The forum comments are still published online to this day, although people rarely post to the site anymore. I shared dreams (many of which, not all, but many of which were actually NDEs or visions disguised as dreams) on that yahoo site that would later come true. I shared the one about how I would eventually move back to Utah, how I saw Delta Airlines go bankrupt, about seeing the area of North Salt Lake that I would later work at, how I was shown Tooele County and how I saw a baby girl that I would one day have. I think it was healing for me to tell my story somewhere and just put it out there, since I never had the courage to share my story with too many others.