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I was in the C.C.U. (more critical than I.C.U.) with a rare form of pneumonia that wasn't responding to medications. My doctors had told my family it wasn't looking optimistic, so my family had started to come in to visit.
Right before my experience, I recall lying in bed with the BiPAP machine over my face, concentrating on every breath, in and out. I was afraid to fall asleep because I didn't know if my breathing would stop.
The next thing I knew, I was going up thru the ceiling of my room and traveling upward thru space. It was the black void I've, now, read about in numerous other accounts. I had the thought that I should be afraid; yet, I wasn't. This reminded me of the Bible verse, "Yea, though I walk thru the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me."
My body was traveling upward and it felt like I was sitting in a position that one would be in if they were in a car seat, only I wasn't.
Next, I saw all of the planets to the right of me and beautiful stars that looked like diamonds.
The next part is something I've only recently been trying to figure out. I believe everything I was allowed to remember has a purpose and with that said, now is the time for me to understand this part.
I was made aware that there was an invisible mass next to the planets, stars, etc. I knew this matter had weight, but I didn't know why I knew it was there.
Almost instantly, I was arriving at a receiving station, where I was greeted by a female (after the NDE, I couldn't recall who this female was). She began to show me around in this level we were on.
To the far left behind us, there was an enormous archway where I saw orbs of yellow light zipping in and out. As some of these orbs passed by me, I could hear them talking and I asked about this, and she explained they were souls.
I should tell you, now, that once I came back, I began to get really sad because I wanted to be there again. I would pray and ask to please be allowed to experience it again while I was sleeping.
After a while, I began to lose bits and pieces of what I saw. I believe it's because I wasn't dealing with the fact that I wouldn't be there again until the time when it would be permanent. It was as if all of the things were still in my subconscious, but I cannot pull them to the surface. Almost like a song you're trying to remember; all you need is that first verse for it to come flooding back. That's one of the reasons I read and watch so many NDE accounts, hoping something clicks and lets me take down the veil in my memory that is keeping it hidden.
There are so many other things I am able to recall, so instead of trying to piece what happened in chronological order (which is very hard for me with my experience), I'll list them next.
1) As I was traveling thru space, I saw different forms of life in other places. The most interesting was beings that you could automatically tell were good or bad just by looking at them. It was as if it was an extra sense I had, only it only pertained to these beings. I saw another place where they made homes inside trees.
2) I knew there were different levels of heaven and I was where souls entered and exited.
3) I saw a porthole (window) above me and I could see the eyes of who I believe was my dad. I knew he was above me on another level and we were unable to reunite at this time.
4) The feeling of love was indescribable. I was consumed by it. It's like the amount of love we are able to experience within these mortal bodies can only hold a sliver of what we feel there.
5) A feeling of everyone being connected and one with God and each other.
6) I crossed a bridge made from a rainbow. I later heard about the "Rainbow Bridge" that animals are supposed to cross. This is important because after my experience, I became incredibly close to animals. Closer than I am to most humans in ways. I can't even kill insects now.
7) I saw this beautiful building that was made of Mother-of-pearl.
8) I was taken into a building where miracles were stored. There were all kinds of things here. Body parts that would be sent down for healings, etc.
9) There was an amber door with intricate details carved; however, this is all I can remember of it.
10) I remember waking up suddenly with a burst of energy and couldn't put what had just happened into a realistic context. My mind was having trouble processing the experience. It was as if it was trying to tell me it was a dream, and yet I knew it was too real.
11) After waking, I could see quick glimpses of what appeared to be demon-like creatures’ faces to the right of my bedside, yet I would blink and they'd be gone. I, also, saw an actual door on the ceiling above my bed, and when I blinked, it was gone, too. This all happened only in the first couple of minutes after I opened my eyes.
On the last nice weekend in October 1985, a few good friends and I decided to go horseback riding at a summer camp ranch in West Virginia where we had been teaching as department directors in our various fields. It was a beautiful day, clear blue skies, cool but comfortable breezes and a perfect day for riding. We rode around the pastures for several hours without incident. We went back to the corral, staying mounted in the saddle but slowly walking the horses around the ring, waiting for staff to come and take our horses in, one at a time.
Suddenly, everything seemed to happen simultaneously.... the horse in front of me seemed to get spooked by something and the rider lost control as the horse bucked and backed into my horse. I was so relaxed that I was totally unprepared to suddenly have to reign in and control my horse and he bucked very fast and high. The next thing I knew I was airborne and landing very hard on my head and my neck bent inward so intensely that my face was forced onto my chest. My left leg was also yanked forcibly out of the stirrup, tearing the ligaments in my groin and thighs as I landed hard.
At this point, my consciousness seemed to 'bifurcate' and I was simultaneously aware of what was happening to my body, hearing and feeling the bones crack and the ligaments and muscles tear, but not feeling pain, and I was also suddenly watching a "Life Review"! It made me kind of laugh, thinking, "Oh, it's true! You do see your life pass before you!" It struck me as kind of funny for some reason and very fascinating as I watched the 'movie' of my life play. The recording went backwards, scene by scene, throughout my entire 31 years, every second, relationship, activity, feeling.... then finally back to the womb and the moment of conception....
Then, there was blackness for a moment (but there was no sense of time; it all was happening at the same time) ...this narrative is taking longer than the event in physical time. Then all of a sudden, I (my consciousness) was in a tunnel, traveling so fast and faster toward "Light".... I had no 'body' sense.... just pure beingness, consciousness....
Then there was suddenly a sense of quiet and total peace in this Light. I became aware of another consciousness near me and then another (no bodies!), so it seemed as though these were my Guardian Angels (or maybe my "Higher Self" and an angel??) We had a 'discussion' (there were no words, it was all like instantaneous understanding) ...I was given a choice to come back to the body or stay. I wanted to come back because I felt that I had things that I had to do in this lifetime. It seemed that I was also given a choice of 'paraplegic', 'quadriplegic' or just to be in constant pain for the remainder of my life in this incarnation....
I chose the latter, but when I came back to consciousness of my physical body, there was a brief moment when I had to again make the conscious decision to re-connect with my physical body so that I could move my limbs....
At that point, I re-connected with my body and opened my eyes to see my friends and staff all gathered around me, yelling and trying to figure out who to call and what to do. I insisted that I did not want to go to the hospital, for many reasons, including fear of doctors and hospitals from my first near-death at 7 when my appendix burst! (That didn't scare me, but the doctors did.) I also had no insurance, and I did not want to sue the ranch, which belonged to my employer, where I loved working.
I was carefully taken home by my friends and I laid in bed for over a week 'healing', only getting up with difficulty for bathroom breaks and food. I did have to get chiropractic care a few months later when my arms stopped working normally. My neck literally had 'disconnected' from the spinal column and then was 'snapped back' into place (by the angels?) when I came back into my body. It was a disarticulation which badly damaged the cervical vertebrae and twisted the thorax around off-center. (A few years later, a truck hit my vehicle and smashed the lumbar vertebrae, but that was not an OOBE or NDE.)
I think the only reason I did not die when I fractured my neck was because I had been doing yoga and meditating for about 8 years at that point, so I was both strong and flexible...and of course, because of 'G-d'! In retrospect, of course, now I wish I had gotten medical care at the time because I am in constant pain.
One of the very intense realizations was that life is very, very short and we need to love every moment of it and everyone. The cold weather causes me more pain than usual, so I moved to the Caribbean shortly after this. I asked myself how I would feel in my 80's looking back at my life if I chose to continue living in an environment that caused my body to hurt so much.
I also felt that I had so much more to offer and do than I could do where I was. I had been working as an artist and teaching both art and in my synagogue, which I loved doing, but the art field was changing (becoming digital, which it is totally virtual now!) and I just felt it was time to make a move.
From the islands I moved to south Florida, where I married and changed careers to animal medicine (which again, I loved and was very good at!) I think working with animals did a few things for me including helping that "animal" body of mine heal, and it opened my heart in a way that was new, in a totally unconditional way, which I think helped me in all other ways in relationships and teaching.
After another twelve years, I divorced and went back to school for a degree in Earth Science and Biology, and am now working on an ecology doctorate; my intent is to spend the last years of life teaching kids and adults meditation and yoga, organic gardening and art. It is possible, G-d willing, for me to live another 30+ years and I hope to do so.
I still think about the life review a lot. Your body is recording everything, like a biological recording device.... I think that I am still processing that part especially, and I've learned that it's very difficult to tell people about it (especially in the academic science world!). It's 'awkward' conversation because they either think you're crazy, you've gone 'woo-woo', or you're not being professional (my committee is not in favor of meditation, even though hundreds of studies now show it is beneficial for increasing awareness...of everything, including nature (ecology)). Yoga is ok with them: it has gone mainstream, I guess, but they can't see the connection between yoga and ecology...yet.
Now I can see how visual arts, healing arts, and science can merge in this last third of my life.
NDE1: Age 6, fell 20 feet from barn loft, don't remember fall but once home from hospital saw a woman at the end of my bed for 3 years. My mom's mother died when she was 2 years old so she didn't have any pictures; however, 43 years later she found a photo of her and chills came over me because I knew then it was my deceased grandmother at the end of my bed!
NDE2: Age 23, Auto accident, I was hit then lost control of car and crashed the side of a house. Time seemed to stop, lost sense of my body, could take in all the details of the wreck in slow motion while simultaneously having my whole life flash before my eyes. Felt like it was my choice to go or stay because as soon as I thought of leaving my family, I thought no I'm not ready to go yet. At that moment, I felt like I slammed back into my body upon impact of the house. Did not feel pain from the initial car hitting me.
NDE3: Age 24, Anaphylaxis from IV dye during procedure. Lost sense of body, saw tunnel with white light, very peaceful, was not scared. I couldn't breathe. Then pulled back by the code blue team.
NDE4: Age 38, In China acquired Campylobacter jejuni, with fever, shaking chills, bloody vomiting and bloody diarrhea. Hallucinated 4-5 red glowing people milling around the unlit dark room, telling me to drink bottled water and I was arguing it would make me sick but finally succeeded and by the next morning I was able to board a plane back to USA. Took 6 weeks and 6 antibiotics to cure it!
NDE5: Age 47, Had port for 5 years to manage my Familial Mediterranean Fever (very rare autoinflammatory disease) at home since I'm a physician. Became infected causing blood poisoning and pericarditis. Began praying fervently and meditating. Recovered but since have been visited by 2 other entities I would describe as angels. I also dream of heaven all the time! But in the dreams, I always know I'm not allowed to venture too far in, like there's an invisible barrier I know I can't cross even though I can't see it.
During 3 separate encounters with spirit beings while meditating, I heard a loud crashing sound by my bedside table as they would appear. Sounds like they are breaking the sound barrier, it’s so startling! It’s so loud that my husband comes to check on me thinking I fell out of bed or something else major crashed!
Since my most recent NDE, I have premonition dreams and have predicted pregnancies and got 9/10 sexes of the babies correct. The first premonition dream was of my mother having surgery for leaking breast implant after her bout with breast cancer. I lucid dreamed that night she passed away on the operating table! It was so real I awoke sobbing. Called mom next morning to beg her not to have the surgery and she told me cardiology had just called and said it wasn’t safe for her to have surgery! Whew! I’ve also been able to connect with guides/angels. I have seen, communicated with telepathically, and been touched and “taken” by at least 3 entities.
Since my NDEs, I now feel like I’ve stepped out of the matrix and have a bird’s eye view of the world, universe and the people in it! Finally see the big picture and realize true happiness has nothing to do with material objects! It’s about friends, family and philanthropy!
I had my NDE on March 24th, 2016. Holy Thursday. My older sister by two years was fighting a losing battle with breast cancer and it was very hard to watch it punish my parents. I had developed severe LPR heartburn through stress eating. I was going in for an ENT scope and a colonoscopy. My doctor wanted to check for ulcers and the colonoscopy was just a bonus as I was 46 and had never had one done.
The bowel prep worked too well and I became severely dehydrated. The nurse took her time hooking up the saline drip. Five minutes after she put the IV in, my heart stopped. My soul immediately left my body and went through the wall to my left. The room was dark and I was in a chair. A being behind me began clicking images from my life through my brain really fast like a slide projector. The slide show stopped at four times in my life where I was being encouraging to people. At each moment I was launched back in time and into the event.
The first event was when I was 25. I was encouraging a new hire who had taken a lesser job under me, but it would give him a lot more room for future growth. He was worried he had made a mistake. I could smell the propane exhaust from his forklift. We were in the Southwest corner of the warehouse that I ran at the time. Bill is still a friend of mine and has had a nice career in sales.
The second one was me and a neighbor kid when I was 9. My neighbor was bummed because his parents worked all the time and didn't have the time to spend with him. It was the summer of ‘78 and it was hot as hell outside. He was wearing his yellow Chevy Luv Truck tank top and I could smell the banana sun tan lotion we had on. The colors of summer were so brilliant.
The third was when I met my best friend. We were 6 and in the first grade. Mark transferred in from another school and well..., it just sucks being the new kid. We all know that. Well, I was nice to him and he became my best man 22 years later. We were in the playground of our old grade school.
The fourth event was me encouraging a freshman at college to stay in school. I was a sophomore. He was socially backwards and struggled with that part of college. He stayed and earned a graduate degree from Cornell years later. We were standing in his dorm room on a Friday and I started to hear the nurse say, "Mike, Mike, Mike." She was giving me CPR and as I went back through the wall to my right, the Being said, "More of this!"
When I opened my eyes, I felt euphoric. I wanted to jump for joy but I could clearly see the dismay in everyone's face. The IV got ripped out, my wife was crying, and the nurse was emotionally drained. They wheeled me over to the ICU of Blanchard Valley Hospital in Findlay, Ohio. Again, still severely dehydrated and no saline drip yet. I felt like I was running on pure unconditional love. Just then a lady who was in a car crash was wheeled in next to me. She had been choppered in. They could not save her. I knew her soul was gone when she came in. They finally got the liquids going into me and I could feel myself become "normal" again. I took three bags before I urinated.
They kept me overnight and ran a crap ton of tests. They found nothing. I was so hungry. I went to work the next week after a very surreal Easter Sunday. I did not tell my wife until several months later. My sister died the following December when it got into her brain. It crushed my parents. My brother in law and nieces were so calm. They had seen the ravages of cancer and knew Kris was in a much better place and so did I.
The retrospect has been the hardest part. Trying to piece the clarity of the next world with the confusion of this world is very hard. I assure you, this world is the bizzarro world. This is where lies are truth and truth, lies. This is where kindness is punished and hurtfulness Is rewarded. Not so in the next reality.
I do not feel heaven is in the sky. It gets depicted that way because our bodies are so heavy and our soul feels like it rises when it leaves this boat anchor. I have lost 20 lbs since my NDE and have come to detest my body. It is such a chore to take care of. But, it's our vehicle in this world.
At first, I thought the Being was The Holy Spirit. My Catholic teachings probably led me to that. But as I thought it over 100 times, I think it was more like an angel/messenger. I think it was younger than me. A bit awkward too. I think it knew there was little time to get me this message of how important encouragement is. You can really change the world with little effort. I was surrounded by talented medical people. No way I was gonna die that day. The nurse did ask me later when I got to my room if my chest hurt. I said, "No. Why?" She told me she'd had really wailed on me during CPR and was surprised a rib wasn't broke. I felt on top of the world for days after.
As the years go by, my NDE takes on an even deeper meaning. I draw on it often. I have no desire to go back but I have zero fear of death. The day we die, we are all the same. Wealth and position do not matter. You do not take those with you. However, our memories of sound, sight and smell do indeed exist in the next world. I suggest loading up those vaults. I have music on all the time now.
The year that followed my sister's death brought a huge personal challenge to my wife and me. I believe I was visited and warned of events by my sister. My wife and I became true partners the following year. Without my NDE and visits from my sister, I don't know if my marriage would have made it through.
After several weeks of tachycardia events that have ramped down in severity and one ER visit about 3 weeks prior to this OOB/NDE:
I felt too tired to stay awake, so I took a nap around 3:10, falling into an extra deep sleep at some point after 4:00 when I could no longer hear the low volume of the new program starting on TV.
I became lucid and aware and, after raising my arms to test the experience, I peeled out of my body. It felt like pulling myself out of a very thick, knitted sweater. I walked right up out of the recliner, hopped & flew around the room to prove to myself I was out, thinking how amazing it was.
At some point I kind of panicked and yelled for John to help me, and then he was standing in front of me. I couldn’t tell if his spirit came to me, or I had gone to wherever his body was. I grabbed him and tried to talk to him, but he didn’t respond. (In hindsight I feel this means it was his physical body, because whenever I visit his Spirit I can "see" his true essence. I think he was at the grocery store at the time - the lighting was different than in our home.)
At some point later I found myself at a hard-textured barrier similar to the ceiling. I remember thinking very casually, “Well God... You could, I suppose, decide to take me now.”
Everything opened up and I peered around, focusing on a big swirling Light surrounded by multicolor clouds very far away in space (I sensed it was the tunnel). I realized I didn’t want to go, even though I understood this was a clear chance. I pushed with both hands against the barrier, turned away and floated down. I had a sense that if I went any further, I would not come back.
I don’t remember going back into my body, but I remember a dream I had afterward. I woke up at 5:25 when John came in from the store.
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