These NDE accounts were submitted to our website and are published here anonymously. Minor edits have been made to protect the identity of the experiencer and others who may have been involved with the experience. Note to researchers and authors: IANDS cannot grant permission to publish quotations from these NDE accounts because we have not received permission from the NDE authors to do so. However, we advise authors who wish to use quotations from these accounts to follow the Fair Use Doctrine. See our Copyright Policy for more information. We recommend adopting this practice for quotations from our web site before you have written your book or article.
When I was 14 years old, I became suddenly acutely poorly with a rare auto immune disease.
While involved in a divorce, after the first good 19 years, then crumbling 20th year of marriage, and admittedly of my own misguided making, I was building a home for myself, and at the time of my experience was painting the interior woodwork, crown molding, fireplace mantle, window surrounds, etc., with lacquer, which is highly toxic.
I remember calling my boyfriend and telling him both my lungs had collapsed and all my vital organs were shutting down and the doctors didn’t know why. I had been in an out of consciousness and was being wheeled back into surgery to look for internal bleeding. My heart rate was low and my blood pressure was dropping. I was looking at the lights on the ceiling. That’s when everything went black.
It felt like I had been sucked out of my body into a black space of non-existence. My own personal purgatory. I knew I had died and all around me was darkness. I didn’t have a body and I wasn’t in pain anymore. However, I was alone. There was no one and nothing. The vibration of life, of nature - there was nothing. I was terrified and heartbroken. What had I done so horrible to be here? But almost as quickly as I felt that, I knew it was temporary.
Then this flash of scenes or like still pictures flashed before me. Things I had even forgotten, and I had this instant urge to get back because my children needed me. Those flashes were showing me my purpose for why I needed to be here now, or at least that’s how I felt. This bright light appeared off in the distance and I knew I had to go towards it to get back.
I could feel myself back in my body and I was trying to scream, “I’m alive.” I could hear the doctors talking and I was trying to move my fingers. I was so afraid they’d given upon me. Then I heard him say, “She’s waking up!”
It was 1986, and I was 19 years old when I had my NDE.
I contracted Lyme disease and a few co-infections. I went undiagnosed for several years.
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