I had a seizure, was brought to the ER, lost consciousness and was greeted by my neurosurgeon. I suddenly woke up from being heavily sedated and he had a white light around him. He has intensely blue eyes. I thanked him and passed out. I had no fear. I drifted off to a white infinite cozy space. For some reason, I thought my doctor was an angel.
Seven days later, I had brain surgery. During surgery I had excessive loss of blood which caused an out of body experience to a void and then I was brought over to an infinite light, white space. I was greeted by loved ones, spirit guides, divine beings. It felt so cozy there. I did not want to leave. It was not my time. I had a story to share. “You can come back anytime," I was told. I left with a great sense of relief and hope, no fear if I could walk or talk again. The doctors warned I could lose the ability to communicate and move, not to mention memory loss. I am still well and alive.
I would recover from end-stage stage 4 brain cancer and surgery. No need to fear; focus on love and compassion. Follow the light and love; let this principle guide you. I need to share my story and life experiences. That is my purpose and once that mission is done on earth, you may return home.
I am often revisiting this moment trying to make sense of this life. I can't live in a city anymore. I feel very uncomfortable. I moved to St. Louis, MO where I grew up even though it is not my plan. I let go of the human expectation of where I am in life. I am able to pursue what I love and I feel less attached to seeing other people, and as my husband said: A change in personality. I’ve become more introverted. Mostly because I can hear what others are saying inside their head. I can't always turn it off. I like to be in nature, commune with the divine. Long periods of meditation and hiking feel like my true nature. Many people have asked me about the spontaneous remission.
I am writing a book and blog to share my healing story and trying to make sense of what happened to me. I feel it's surreal and I’m also having a hard time balancing life changes as I do not care about material things and status anymore. I did an art therapy certification that I always wanted to. I am a medical interest because I had major brain surgery which affected my speech and language yet I can still read and walk, and Glioblastoma is incurable and I am still alive and well. I plan on starting a PhD in 2025 unless divine guidance brings me elsewhere.