I have had three experiences. I will start chronologically in order.

1. When i was young (about 11), I had a memory of being knocked out and waking up in a dark void consciously, before coming to.

2. In 2008 I had a breakdown. Could’ve been a combination of existential dread or alcohol the night before. I don’t really remember much of the event, just that I couldn’t control myself. It was scary. Then bits at the hospital. Wouldn’t be here if my mom wasn’t there daily to make sure I ate. Something the doctors were neglecting to monitor. As a result of this neglect by the staff and the toll of all the medication and lack of eating, I had a heart collapse. I haven’t really requested any information from the hospital since and have developed a PTSD of hospital-like environments. I had two main visions/experiences which I can still recall in 2024, a little lessened due to trying to forget for years. Now, having a symbolic analysis on Top SpiritFacts, a YouTuber who mentions distressing NDES. He says that they eventually lead to good NDEs. Just that some wake up before then. And I have a feeling if I had a great NDE, I wouldn’t be here on earth anymore.

The first vision was humans stitched up as vacuum cleaners, eating junk being pushed by wicked creatures. I analyze this one as being symbolic of the lowest realm. Earth and all the evil around. The second vision was a building on a hill kind of like Tower of London/Big Ben meshed into one building. I am inside a small square room. The floor opens up and I am falling, knowing spikes are at the bottom. Suddenly a figure swoops in on a rope and picks me up. Initially he had brown hair, kind of like Guy Fawkes masks. But when I started looking at this savior, he was like or even Jesus. That’s when all my visions ended. I analyze this as: no soul can be lost completely, even when they want absolute nothingness. There is always something better.     

3. I had an experience (not NDE but similar, like emotion on a small scale that changed my worldview) in 2017, around when I started reading David Bently Harts’ That All Shall Be Saved. I was awake but was half asleep. I had this feeling of universal compassion/love. It was only a moment, but it was then I knew God’s unconditional Love for all his creation and my path in faith. That existential fear of hell/reincarnation dissolved.

So happy to have lived this long to be able to solidify my beliefs.

I cannot wait for the love of God to (in the end) fill every one of God’s creatures and/or children. Where we can live in peace without fear, ignorance, hatred and pain.