The memory of what happened when I was 8 years old was suppressed and briefly revealed at 22 years old and revealed completely in 2010 at 43 years old.  I will try to explain the best I can.

I had an experience at 8 or 9 years old where I was attacked by a family member who tried to drown me in the Russian River in Healdsburg, California.

He held my throat and tried to choke me out under the water just upstream from the Memorial Beach dam, which would have destroyed my body.

I was unaware that I was in any danger as I thought it was just a game. I pretended to be a dead body floating under the water, a game I’d played before with my older sister. I didn't inhale any water and I wasn't fearful at all.

I opened my eyes to find myself in another realm, being cradled by who I believe was my guardian angel, in arms of light and being presented to God.

There was communication between my guardian angel and God.

I heard my guardian angel say, “He’s adorable, can we keep him?” There seemed to be a discussion about my future, but I wasn’t able to hear what was said. Apparently, God said, “No!”

Then I was being carried through the sky downward. I noticed during the descent the sky was kind of gray and cloudy, but I knew on earth it was a nice day.

I tried really hard to look at my guardian angel that was carrying me but couldn’t see them, as if they were intentionally staying out of view.

There were not any words spoken but there was a form of communication, and this translation is my best recollection.

I asked with a thought, “Doesn’t he love me? Doesn’t he want me?”

I heard my guardian angel reply in thought, “You have an important purpose to fulfill in this life.”

I wanted to know what my purpose was so I asked. Then there was a moment where my guardian angel asked God if I could know my purpose. Again, the answer was, “No!”

I felt unhappy that I wasn’t able to understand why I couldn’t stay or why I couldn’t know what my purpose was.

So, I asked if I could have a hug.

I understood the answer to this as, “We’re not allowed to do that.”

At this time I am carried down into the river by my body, deep under the water. I felt my hair and skin pass through my face as my guardian angel merged me back into my body. I felt a little squeeze around my middle that comforted me and I knew it was the hug I’d asked for.

As I opened my eyes, I heard the words, “Don’t breathe!” I realized that I was under water and I didn’t breathe.

Although I didn’t see it, a moving part of the dam hit the left side of my lower back and it threw me upstream and down toward the floor of the river.

Still under water, my feet skidded along the rocks and gravel as I was thrown upstream. It felt like a wonderful foot rub and I had a great appreciation for the sensation of the gravel under my feet. I had my shoes on and thought about how much better it would be barefoot.

The water was clear so when I skidded it stirred the murky silt into the clear water, and as the sunlight shined through, it illuminated with beautiful swirling patterns. I had an extreme appreciation and love for this and felt special for being the only one allowed to see it. I looked downstream and saw the mechanical moving parts of the dam and again felt the same appreciation and love for its magnificence.

I looked back at the swirling patterns that stopped and started moving downstream toward the dam. I then felt my body do the same, as the current began to carry me downstream as well.

I pushed myself up and started paddling to get to the surface, repeating to myself, “I’m not ready to die yet!” When my head came out of the water, I was relieved to breathe again.

At that time, I had no recollection of my out of body encounter. Knowledge of that came briefly at age 22, was suppressed again, then was revealed later when I was in my 40's.

I was about 40 years old and a sole provider for a family of 6. I worked as a union carpenter in multiple high-rise towers in Las Vegas, NV.

One day while at work, I felt a veil being lifted and remembered the incident that happened in my early 20s. Where I was lifted out of my body and asked, “What would you like to know?” I knew it was God and I knew that to my left was my future and to my right was my past.

I could also see large planets beautifully gift-wrapped floating in the atmosphere. I knew they were for me and contained anything I wanted to know. I could have asked for any knowledge and it would have been given.

I didn’t want any of that. What I asked was, “Do I get to go to heaven?” I tried to will myself to my left to see my future but God turned me and showed me the time in my past where I was attacked in the river at 8 years old.

He asked me, “How do you feel about the person that tried to kill you?”

I felt nothing but love and forgiveness and said, "I forgive him."

God said, “That’s why I am forgiving you and you will go to heaven.”

He brought me back to present, and held my spirit suspended in his presence as small glowing balls of light fell through me. I could feel his love for me but even the word love doesn’t describe what it was. It had a substance, it was tangible and pure and wasn’t a reward for good behavior, it was who God is and a gift to me because of who I am as he created me to be. This memory was suppressed for many years though I'm not sure why, but after recounting the events over and over and listening to other NDErs I have concluded that I am here for a purpose, as is everyone.

I believe that my purpose is to be loving and kind to others which is not always easy.

There are hard challenges for everyone throughout this life and I believe that the hard times give us an opportunity to care for and love one another.

It's not that we are being punished by a cruel God that doesn’t care and has left us to suffer, but to exhibit kindness in the face of adversity is how our spirits level up. Eternity is a long journey and we are at a very low level of spiritual evolution, and spiritual growth requires us to experience much tribulation. Thank you for reading!