In the Spring of 2020, I had kidney stones. I had never had kidney stones before and tried for 2 days to pass them. I was in severe pain and, after my efforts were unsuccessful, my husband took me to the Emergency Room. Because our area was under COVID-19 quarantine, he had to leave me in the ER by myself. It was about 1 am.
I was given Fentanyl for the pain.
The clock in the room was broken - stuck at 4:00 and my phone was in my purse, so I could not keep track of the time.
As the night continued, the nurses gave me more and more Fentanyl. The pain was never far behind. I had an MRI that revealed a stone in my kidney and a stone in my bladder.
I don't know what time it was.
I felt light-headed. I watched my vital sign readouts go down. My blood pressure was dropping. My pulse rate was falling. My respiration rate was falling. I watched the numbers and knew that I was dying. I thought, "So this is how it ends. I am dying alone." I took a few breaths and closed my eyes. I tried to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet (I am Roman Catholic), but the words jumbled in my head. I cried out, "God Save Me," and then I felt my soul ripped from my body.
The alarm went off on my monitor.
I was looking down from the ceiling. I saw the nurse and ER EMT rush in. The nurse hit a button and ran out. The ER EMT was checking for a pulse. She did not seem to find one as she began to remove my gown and drop my bed.
Next to me, hovering at the ceiling, was a being. This being felt like my Guardian Angel. He did not say anything. We watched it together.
The nurse injected something into my IV (when I checked the run sheet later, this was Naloxone). My body began to convulse and the EMT draped her body over mine to hold me down. Looking down, I tilted my head to the side like a dog trying to understand - my body was convulsing and my body's eyes were open, but I was staring into them from above - not outward from them. My body looked empty and pale, deflated, and broken - a discarded doll.
Suddenly, I was pushed back into my body and I opened my eyes - looking up at the same ceiling. My Angel was gone. When my soul hit my body, it was a thud.
The EMT rolled me to the side, rested me against her body and I began to violently vomit. I filled 3 emesis bags. She stroked my back and my hair as I vomited.