I was in the hospital with pre-term labor. The physician on duty administered turbutaline (brethine) intravenously. Within seconds, I didn't feel right, grew very hot and had barely said "Something doesn't feel right" when I blinked out of my normal version of consciousness and blinked into the void. The medication stopped my heart (I later learned). I was in a vast dark place that was quite peaceful. I wasn't sure where I was but knew that I was fully conscious and no longer in my body. I tried to wiggle my toes and fingers but discovered I had none. I knew I existed in only pure consciousness.

I became curious about why I was there in the void and that is when I 'heard' a presence - the energy of another being. I don't know how I knew but I knew. After long moments of trying to figure out where I was and what I was doing where ever it was that I was, I sent out a thought, "Okay, so, now what? What am I supposed to do now? How long am I going to be here? What happens next?" The being spoke but without audible words and it said, "Are you ready?" I tried to orient on where the being was but it felt like it was everywhere and nowhere, inside of me and outside of me. I couldn't figure it out and so went back to the thought about that the being I couldn't see asked me and understood that it meant "Are you ready to leave this life?" I was thoughtful about the question for a very long-seeming time. Sensing my struggle, the being then sent a thought to consider and at the same time, a vision of my life played before my eyes except for the part at which I began having children.

I saw scenes from childhood, scenes with my parents, scenes with other children and adults. I felt joy when I saw loving scenes and great sadness when I witnessed angry scenes. After that part of my life review I really felt like I had made a mess out of things and that I was ready to let go and move on to maybe try again in a different life. The being asked me again, "Are you very certain that you are ready to go?" I sent the thought, "Well, yes. I think I am ready." Just then, the being sent me more visions of my life and I saw my two oldest children and then I remembered my body somewhere was very pregnant with another child. The being showed me what that baby girl would look like at two years old."

Within the span of a single heart beat the projector began to play again (previously it had felt like a projector just shut off) and I was back in my body. I heard the nurse trying to talk to me. She was calling my name and touching my face. I didn't like being back and I was completely bewildered by what had just happened. My first thought was how could I lose consciousness without losing consciousness. The nurse's voice that at first sounded so far away became closer and closer until I opened my eyes and again saw the light. I asked her what happened and she looked away for a moment and then just said I passed out. No one would talk about it the rest of the night. My best friend had been with me and they told her not to discuss it with me.

I did not talk about my experience with anyone for quite a while because I didn't understand what had happened. When I saw my regular OB/GYN 24 hours later, he told me that when they gave me the medication, they stopped my heart and they had to call Code Blue. Later that day my best friend confirmed that when I seemed to lose consciousness in my physical body it was at that same moment that I flat lined, they called Code Blue and escorted her from the room. She said in my condition, they advised her not to discuss the incident at all with me or I could go back into preterm labor.

Many years went by before I discussed the experience with a therapist who said I had an NDE. I noticed right after the birth of that baby and the experience that clairaudience, some clairvoyance, claircognizance and clairsentient had become a growing part of my normal existence. I could see spirits and communicate with them more clearly than I had been able to previously. Previously I could sometimes see them but I couldn't speak to them or hear them.

In the void, I remember being curious but I was never afraid. I felt so much peace and that darkness felt infinite but not the slightest bit scary (and I've been plenty afraid of the dark at times). I remember that the moment I felt the love for my children, I went right back into my body even though I had said to the being I was ready to move on. When I realized I had commitments to keep with those children, what I wanted did not matter in that moment. I wanted to return then and so it was that I returned.