One weekend day during mid-afternoon I felt especially tired. I was diagnosed with three autoimmune illnesses that often sapped my body of energy and left me very depressed. I was tired most of the time. So I decided to take a nap. For some reason I slept reversed in bed. My head was where my feet go normally; I had never done this before. There wasn't any reason for it, but I just went with it. If I had slept the regular way, I could not have seen the window on the opposite side of the wall.

Usually I just rest, unable to truly sleep. All of a sudden I felt what could be described as my soul push forward from my body about two feet. This woke me up, like a whoosh feeling. As I tried to assess what was happening, I felt this soul energy snap back inside my body. At the same time, I looked at the big five by five foot window on the opposite wall. For the two years I lived in that rented room, I never raised the blinds on the window. Outside of it was a tangled mess of trees and branches about three feet away. Even in summer it was unattractive. Opening it for air also attracted mosquitoes, so I always just left the blinds closed. Usually I was away all day working. Since there was no view, I never bothered to raise the blinds even at night.

As I looked in that direction not only were the blinds gone but also the glass and the frame. I found myself hypnotized by the most beautiful view of a tropical paradise with the sun twinkling behind gently moving palm fronds. Sort of like lying in a hammock on a wonderful beach and looking up. It was more than just insanely beautiful; it was peaceful and beckoning. It seemed “alive” somehow. I have no idea how long I stared at that gorgeous scene, and it never crossed my mind that it shouldn't be there. I was just mesmerized by the beauty and perfect feeling it gave me. Tears spring to my eyes as I think of it now…how I long to see it again.

Then all of a sudden I “popped” awake. I was stunned to realize my eyes hadn't been open all that time since it was so much more real than a dream, and even waking life. I was crushed to see the blinds, drabness, and nothingness back. Crushed is a mild way to describe how losing sight of that place affected me. Ever since, I have never forgotten the beauty and feeling that place gave me. It was a feeling of peacefulness and total contentment. It gives me hope that someday I will be able to go there and stay.