I was walking up a hill from my grand parents house to go home. I looked up at the night sky; it was wintertime and not a cloud to spoil my view. While looking up at the vastness of it all I asked, "What is this all about? Why are we here? What are we?” It somehow seemed illogical that we existed; I was searching for something it seems. Anyway, as I was thinking this, the darkened sky with all that was visible seemed to rush up on me. Then I was in it, fully aware that life is more than the physical components. I remember being a little panicked in case I got stuck there (which seems silly because I was in awe of it). Nonetheless, a reversal occurred and I was back here in my body. Ever since that occurrence I have longed for freedom from the constraints we suffer down here.
Subsequently, I have spent most of my life trying to find a home in church, but I have never been able to listen to the slanted versions of so-called "truth." I think my experience has moved me to see religion as useless. Not long after the experience in the living room of my home, I saw an angel, which looked like the classical description of an alien. My mother was asleep on the couch. I was scared. Both my mother and grandmother saw UFOs hovering about 40 feet above the houses in the same year.
I have experienced lots of hurt in my life, so these experiences have not affected me in a positive way. I remain disconnected and have various mental wounds from my experiences with people. As I get older, my tolerance between others and myself seems to get wider, and the things they care about bother me greatly. In a way, I don’t feel at home here. Maybe it would help you to know that I don’t come from a religious background and I am the only one from my family that believes in God. (I have been searching for more knowledge of God all my life. I have found a friend in the study of quantum physics because since my experience I have known that everything is connected. (Life being made by God exists inside of God. It’s not external. Some religions would have us beam God into our lives, but we never went anywhere). I hope you find this as weird as I did.