When I was eighteen, I had an experience which nearly resulted in my death. I want to share it because it changed my perspective on life and because I deeply hope that writing about what I learned might help other people feel more joy and confidence about living and “dying.”

I was driving from Montreal to western Massachusetts in October 1974. My boyfriend was traveling with me and we got into a discussion about our family and social roles, and how our actions were driven by these internalized expectations. We were wide awake, the car was chilly, there were no radio stations, so we occupied our time talking. I should add that no drugs or alcohol were involved.

Over hours of uninterrupted conversation, we started peeling away layers of our socially and psychologically constructed identities – how we were repeating family patterns, how cultural myths were leading us each down blind alleys and, in my case, keeping me in a self-imposed position of inferiority.

The conversation was exhilarating and our insights accelerated and built quickly on each other. The process became so fast that it was no longer shared in complete sentences. The last thing I remember saying, although I have the sense that more may have followed that I can’t quite retrieve, was that I knew that I was actually a highly intelligent and sensitive person.

Suddenly, I was far above the earth. Looking down, I saw the subcontinent of India, and the surrounding oceans and lands. There were a number, maybe 20, of tiny golden lights shining up from the land below and I realized that each light was a person attaining enlightenment. Someone was there with me, a guide, just behind my left shoulder. He stayed with me and taught me through a series of panoramas.

While gazing at the Earth, he conveyed to me that time is not linear. It moves at different speeds and can go backward or forward. Linear time is simply a property of biological existence that helps us organize ourselves around survival tasks like eating and sleeping.

I noticed, off to the right side, a dim figure crossing deep accordion-like folds of outer space that looked very dark – no stars, almost opaque. The figure moved a bit further to the right and although they were not moving quickly, it was clear to me that they were traveling across an enormous volume of space that was folded, allowing them to cross vast distances much more quickly than traveling at light speed.

Next, I was shown a many-layered schematic or map in shades of tan and green. There were dynamic connections arcing between different sections of the multiple layers. It was awe-inspiring to see this demonstration of the interconnections between consciousness and biological life. At that moment I understood how it all works together. And I felt wonder that such a complex but organized reality exists, just beyond embodied awareness.

By being outside of my body, but still being “me,” it was clear that my consciousness was not part of my physical being. I then realized that I was a continuing, developing individual, not limited by my physical life span. I understood that when I was born, I had “died” or passed from a previous state of being and that after my life on Earth, I would pass into another stage of development. As I realized this, I saw tiny capsules of individual souls floating back towards Earth. But I also learned that reincarnation was not my path of continuation, nor the path of most people.

Joyously I now knew that everything in life makes sense, serves a purpose. Every moment and action provides opportunities to learn important skills and experience development for a future that extends beyond our current lifetimes. I understood that the overarching purpose of life is to learn as much as possible, and love as deeply as possible. Everything learned – through   feelings, through intellect, through experience, is helpful in the continuation of life after this life.

I saw that every animal, plant and rock has awareness, and holds a spark of the universal life

energy within. In this revelation/realization experience, these truths were self-evident. They were obvious – “Oh, of course!” It felt like blinders I hadn’t known I was wearing fell away, and I saw what had been there all along.

The scene changed and I was observing a group of people at the top of a green rounded mountain. Looking out, I could see that there were more groups huddled near the tops of other mountains. It was raining hard and the areas between the mountains were filled with water. I knew that I was seeing the ending of human life on Earth.

The people gathered there knew it also, but they were not fearful because they had reached a shared enlightenment. They knew that their lives continued, and that the Earth’s evolution would continue as well. I became further aware that Earth is a conscious being and is OK with giving so much to support humanity’s development.

Then, in the left part of my field of vision, in the distance, I saw a light blue planet with concentric bands of white clouds. I wondered if the planet was real or a representation of other potential destinations for humanity. At this point in the experience, it dawned on me that I was seeing and learning things that are not available to see or know during Earthly life, and that I was moving on to post-bodily life.

I said, “I’m Not Ready Yet!”

At once I was back in my body, driving full speed toward concrete barriers, marked off by red warning lights due to construction on the left lane of the highway. I was just barely able to correct my car and continue driving down the road. I could only have been “away” a few seconds. My boyfriend said he had also experienced expansive and profound insights, without what he termed “the visuals.” We each felt astonished and overjoyed for a long time.

Given the elasticity of time, would we both have died, since my car only had lap safety belts – but we did not because I said that I wasn’t ready? Since I was driving and the driver’s side was leading toward the concrete barriers, would he have survived a crash anyway, and that’s why he did not have experiences outside his body? Impossible to know.

Having an experience of consciousness not tied to biological processes nearly extinguished my fear of death. Joy from being shown that life continues after physical life, and existed before it, was deep and lasting. Seeing how time and space work was beyond exhilarating.

Learning that all events in life are ultimately meaningful gave me a better perspective on the challenges of my life. Although it did not dissolve my personal issues, or prevent me from experiencing suffering, it has helped me to know that I asked to come back, that I really wanted to continue my life on Earth.

The revelation/realization experience was so real, straightforward and powerful that it has been the touchstone for my life. It has given me continuing hope and a broader perspective. Life is meaningful. Death is a transition to more life. Our species and our planet will continue to evolve.

Life beyond the body is joyful, expansive and free from the anxiety and pain of the struggle for survival. We are non-time-limited beings in a physical chapter of development. On Earth we have opportunities to love as deeply as we can, and learn as much as we can, in a lifetime filled with beauty and deep challenges.

After I “returned” I wanted to tell the world about what I learned. My experience was more vivid and solidly real than even sensory life. I tried many times to describe the vastness, the completeness, the logic, the all-inclusiveness, the beautiful, orderly interconnection of everything. I felt that if I could communicate this knowledge to the world, things would change for the better because there would be less fear, acted out in destructive ways.

But I couldn’t adequately do it. Although during the experience all the interconnected pathways of multidimensional reality were clear, with language I was never able to capture the full picture, even for myself. Perhaps because language describes our 3- or 4-dimensional world and is overloaded when things occur dynamically on many levels at once. I also wonder if we are not supposed to know how it works now, because that could circumvent the learning process we need to go through in life.

However, I am thankful that I can convey the most important things: We do not die. Our individual conscious life continues after a sojourn in the body. Everything that happens in life is meaningful. Learn and love as much as you can; you take all that development with you, into your next chapter of being.