Believe it or not, I was meditating. It was my first time meditating. I always wanted to learn how. After some tips from a friend, I tried again when I found myself home alone, which is rare when you have 3 kids.

I had believed I had to be dead to find myself in Heaven. I 100% know it wasn’t a dream. It’s still amazing to me it happened. I’ve always believed my experience is meant to be shared. To experience that kind of love, I have to share it. Wow, I can’t stress enough the love God has for us. The warmth that covered me and how unconditional it is made me feel perfect. Perfectly loved as I am, no matter what.

You hear people say they don’t want to come back to this Earthly life. It’s true. I believe if Jesus had given me the option to stay in Heaven, I think I would’ve stayed. Knowing God is waiting for me after this life makes it challenging to live this Earthly life because here it is nothing like Heaven. Obviously.

What I try to do is share God’s love and grace. The one thing I have now after my visit is that I no longer fear much. I believe we were meant to live with no fear, so live….live like no (know) one is watching. I heard someone say recently something to the effect of…..You have to live this life, to get to the next life (meaning to get to Heaven). Such a true statement. I know this is long enough. I just get so excited to share. 

Here is my testimony:

I find myself walking on green grass, the most beautiful greenest green I've ever seen. I notice the colors are so bright and vivid, so gorgeous, incredible, so unimaginable it’s difficult to describe. I see a picnic table where a man and boy sit. I begin walking towards them. I notice a feeling of unconditional love so much stronger than I've ever known. It feels like a warm tingling blanket covering me. There is absolutely no question I am so very much loved here. I feel so perfect, I feel so wanted here. Like I belong, almost as if I was lost for a long time and now happiness is in the air because I'm found. I know this place is Heaven.

As I get closer to the picnic table, the man stands up. I glance at the boy, whose hair reminds me of my son's hair when he was younger. The man takes a step towards me and begins to open His arms to His side. I’m not sure who He is. At first glance I think maybe David because He looks similar to some pictures I've seen. As His arms lift higher by His side, He says, "We are waiting for you." I take a step back and realize this man is Jesus. He doesn’t look like the pictures I see normally of Him with the long beard and long hair. He has sandy blonde hair, short beard, blue /green/ hazel eyes. My heart leaps like it’s going to jump out of my chest and I find myself in my home again.

I want to go back to Heaven! I believe the boy is my firstborn child that I lost while pregnant. I wish I could've hugged him and spent time with him. I wish I could've spent more time with Jesus.

I believe I had this experience because I’ve often wondered if I'm doing things right. Will Jesus approve? Will God approve? I'd also thought often of my son as well as of my grandparents, how I miss them so much.

Jesus' words that He spoke to me tell me that I'm a child of God and He has a place waiting for me. As the days passed after my visit, I began to realize my fear of anything has drastically been reduced, if it’s not completely gone. I'm not worried about the problems I face any more. I know who has my back. I know where I'm going when this life is over. I'm looking forward to it.