It was back in 2006. It was a beautiful day, very sunny outside. I don’t remember what day of the week it was, but it was very beautiful. Prior to that, for three to six months, I had this heavy feeling in my chest. I kept telling my ex-husband that something was going to happen to me. I begged him to listen to me, but he didn’t. I was praying a lot, fasting and praying.

One day I was not normal. I was disconnected from myself. My husband was on a rampage. He was calling me names and accusing me of cheating. Hispanic men are macho and jealous and he was screaming at me so horribly. I wasn’t even listening to him. I saw his mouth open and close but the words were flying by me like I was already in another dimension. I started praying to God to please take me. I didn’t want to live any more. I kept praying and praying about that. I lay down and my heart was beating abnormally. It was off beat and not the normal rhythm. Every time it would skip a beat, I felt short of breath. I said to my ex-husband, “Something is going to happen. You need to help me.” He said, “You’re crazy. You are starting this again, you and your spirits.”

I felt the last beat in my heart.  It was like a bullet going through the top of my head, all the way down to the tip of my spine to my coccyx bone. It came out the same way it came in, at the speed of light, if not faster. I believe it was my soul coming out of my body. When it came out, I looked at my bed and my ex-husband was kneeling and praying, “God, please let her live.”

Meanwhile, I was thinking, “What is this guy talking about?” He had this light around him and he looked so beautiful. I thought, “What’s wrong with me? Why does he seem so beautiful?” I realized I was looking at him through my lord Jesus Christ’s eyes.

I looked at my hands, and I looked at my bed. I thought, “There’s a woman in my bed. What’s wrong?” I looked at her more closely. It was me!

I looked up out of instinct. My bedroom ceiling completely disappeared and became grey, like clouds. It started twirling and it became a tunnel. I looked and I didn’t think twice. I went through that tunnel faster than the speed of light. I was very aware of what was going on, thinking, “I need to see everything so I can tell everyone what is going on.” I was very aware but couldn’t see very well. I saw electricity rays and something like a wormhole. I was going so fast and I felt every single thing.

There was a light at the end of the tunnel and right when I got to the end, I heard a pop and I fell into another dimension or galaxy but it wasn’t my house. It was another dimension in my house. So, I got into that dimension and I started walking. I was shocked and amazed so I started touching the walls. I thought to myself, “Now you’ve done it. You are insane.”

All of a sudden, I looked to the top left and there were six angels. They had blonde hair and blue eyes and they were like warriors. They had breastplates and leather belts with tunics underneath. They were wearing sandals and they had huge wings. And I kept shaking my head, “What’s wrong? Where am I?”

All of a sudden, all this information came into my head. Here’s a part that’s different from all the other NDEs I have read since then. I understood that I belonged there. I have been born nine times and this was my ninth time in heaven. All nine times I had committed suicide and I kept getting sent back, but this time I was told that if I did it again, I would be in hell for eternity. I understood and said, “I have to see this through.” I realized that God put these angels in my experience to give me comfort. I would look at them and smile. I felt I had been lost all my life and I had finally found my way home.

I was so happy the angels were talking among themselves. One in particular felt like he had long been part of me before I was even born. He was saying to the other angels, “Look at [my first name], how good she looks, and she is funny.” I was thinking how I was funny and I would always tell jokes and would be laughing and happy. But this experience was being timed so I couldn’t sit there and talk more. It was crucial that I keep going. I kept looking up but I didn’t want to go. I was obedient and I didn’t have an option. I turned to my right and realized it was my living room. The moment I stepped into the living room, I was in another dimension.

As I walked, it started getting dark, cold, damp, and sad. There was no hope, no life. Everything was dead. I started feeling my way around because I couldn’t see. I felt my body physically droop from sadness. All the feelings I had as a child came back. I am a child sexual abuse survivor. The abuse took place from when I was 4 to 13. I felt that same feeling times a gazillion in that place. I understood if I committed suicide, I was going to be there for eternity. I had the feeling of what that eternity would be like. In that place, I couldn’t kill myself, I couldn’t cry, I couldn’t get a drink of water. I couldn’t do anything. I was just going to be there.

I don’t remember planning on how or why I should kneel and pray to God. I did it out of instinct. I dropped my head and knelt with my head on the floor and said, “Jesus Christ, please get me out of here.” And all of a sudden, I felt this warmth around me. There was light and I wanted to open my eyes but I was afraid, even though I knew there was nothing to be afraid of any more. Finally, I opened my eyes and I saw Jesus Christ’s tunic and his sandals. I felt I wasn’t worthy to look up at him.

He picked me up with his arm and he took me out of hell to heaven. I was so grateful! I walked in this new place and as I walked it was so beautiful, more beautiful than any place I’ve ever seen times a million. Whenever I put my foot down, it turned into another dimension. As I walked, I suddenly went into my backyard. I looked at the sky and saw 11 white doves.

All of a sudden, I had that feeling of the bullet on the top of my head and down my spine. I dropped to the floor as I went out. I realized I kept going back to life. I was being revived and went in and out of life. I would wake up as a human on earth and then my soul would go back out. This happened about five times. Each time I would go through the tunnel again. I was afraid for my mind. I thought if this kept happening, I would lose my mind, but I realized it was Satan telling me that, because God kept telling me I was fine. I kept feeling I was losing my mind.

As I came back for the final time, I saw the sky. It was light pink with white and light blue and little gold sparkles, like cotton candy. I remember trying to touch it with my hand. I kept looking around me. God’s voice was downloading information to me as I was walking. At that moment someone or some entity took over my body. It was me, but it wasn’t me.

I came to life and told my ex-husband, “Get in the car. You are driving me to a place I need to go.” I somehow knew the address of a place that I’d never been to before. My ex-husband drove me to a Catholic church and I went directly to the rectory. I banged on the door and I went in and I asked for a certain person by name, a priest. I walked toward him and I put my hand on his shoulder and said, “Don’t you think for one minute that I don’t know what you’re doing to all those children.” He dropped to the floor and he was crying. I was speaking to him with authority. The entity who took over my body kept telling me things and I spoke verses of the Bible to him. My voice would change.  Something had taken over my body. Whenever I came back in brief flashes, I asked myself, “What are you doing here? Why are you saying these things?”

After that, we got in the car. A period of time elapsed and I have no memory of it. I remember waking up in my room where my ex-husband was saying, “You’re insane, you’re insane. You know you are, right?” He was scared and I felt I should just get out before he put me in the hospital.  I left the house barefoot, not knowing where I was going, without a plan. I saw this cat that looked like mine and thought, “What is my cat doing here?” I followed it to a Christian church and when I went in, I fell to my knees.

Church members were worshiping and I was crying. I told them what happened and a bunch of people prayed over me and I stood up and felt better. I sat there for a while. They gave me water and something to eat. I went home after that. I arrived home in the late afternoon. I was very quiet and disconnected. My ex-husband was very scared of what was happening to me. He said, “How could you leave if you were not okay?” I said, “Please don’t talk to me. When I needed you the most, you turned your back on me, and you didn’t believe me.” I could know what he was thinking.

When I went into my room, I slept for three days. When I woke up, I wasn’t me any more. I’ve never been that person since.

People would come to the house and I could see what they were thinking. If they shook my hand, I could see even deeper into their secrets and their pain. My mind was going insane with too much information. I started staying home more. One time I was lost in thought for 12 hours. For years I would lie down and stare at the ceiling, hoping it would open again because I felt lost here.

In my NDE, I had begged Jesus to let me stay but there was no way He was going to do that. I knew it wasn’t even ok to ask. I knew I had to come back. Ever since then, God gives me messages through my dreams and talks to me. I hear God very clearly and things happen to me that are not humanly possible that I can’t tell anyone.

I’ve worked in a few homes, some for the mentally challenged, where I became the house supervisor and have been exposed to abuse at each place I worked at. My places of employment have all needed to be shut down for this reason. It’s like God puts me in these places for a reason. As time passes, He reveals to me when He thinks is the proper time to do something about the situation, whether it be verbal or physical abuse or both. I do not even ask any more. I just pray for revelation. I keep hoping I find a place that stays open because I’m getting tired.

I live completely alone. My family doesn’t know anything about me since my NDE. I’ve found that I have to be very careful with whom I talk and who I bring to my home. I don’t date any more. I don’t need anything other than to be ok with God.  God is of ultimate importance in my life and nobody understands this.

Two weeks ago, God took me to the galaxies. This has happened to me very often in different ways. I get signs from angels all the time, so often I don’t even get surprised any more. I go to the galaxies and then I have to get up and move forward in my life, which is so very difficult for me.

I am so susceptible to spirits that I often get goose bumps up my back, hear voices, and feel the presence of good and evil spirits, but more of the good spirits when I read the Word of God. I know it’s important for me to read the Bible to prevent myself from getting overwhelmed. I’ve changed my ways of living, talking, even what I watch on TV. Everything is important, every single thing.