I was on a tai chi and yoga retreat in Southern Spain.

We were about 10 of us. I felt comfortable one evening to recall to them my first powerful STE experience. I could feel the emotion and energy growing through me while I was telling them.

On the fourth day, while in collective meditation, I felt enormous energy building and strong emotions. I saw a beautiful white flower, then two hands in prayer. Although there was no voice, I answered in my mind, "I am ready." Then enormous energy (almost like electricity) went through my hands, arms mainly, and body. My whole body was shaking and I was screaming and crying uncontrollably. It was me and at the same, a “me” I was not familiar with had to express immense sorrow and suffering. It was an urge, like giving birth to a baby. I don't know how long it lasted. While it happened, the leader of the retreat came behind me and did something which felt comforting but would not stop the process I had to go through.

When it stopped, I was exhausted, and we were all quite shaken. My colleagues at the retreat had been affected by it in different ways. But the end result was we all felt unconditional love. It seemed like all appearances had gone. We all had learned something deep. 

The next day, all I could do was have some fresh air and admire the view of all I could see, hear and smell. I could not attend the lecture, as some words or notions triggered too much emotion in me. They felt so true in the core of my being, so beautiful and at the same time triggered too much emotion for my body to handle. 

For days afterwards, I seemed to be flooding. All practical matters had no interest or impact on me.

Since my first STE and this experience, I have changed my behavior and interests and way of being. At the same time, it feels like it is the real me coming out. I also feel a very strong connection with nature and people.

I have very strong vibrations in my body while writing this. Energy or vibrations have become the biggest part of who I am. I still don t know if I need to do anything with this apart from being aware of it.